


Having the devil's own luck

by joouheika



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 16:31:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3256754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joouheika/pseuds/joouheika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren would not have won such a prize otherwise. [No Name AU]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Having the devil's own luck

Eren cannot believe his luck.

He’d been a fan of them since they’d began. He’d only been in middle school when he’d been passing by, staying too late at an extracurricular activity when the noise and the lights had caught his attention during the grasp of dusk. He’d went up to the wire fence and looked beyond it to the small gathering of people before an open stage as a band played live and fell in love with their music since.

He used his allowance from his household chores to go to their gigs as much as he could. Nought their self made CD, created a forum and fanwebsite for them with the help of his friend Armin who was good at that sort of thing. When the band got a contract with a company and were able to release an official CD he bought it and all the merchandise. Recorded all their songs on the radio, bought all the magazines and cut out their pictures and read their interviews religiously. When he got into high school he got a part time job at his next door neighbor’s ramen shop, and used the money from that to join the official fanclub and buy all the exclusive merch and to go to their shows that were in his town or close by.

He loves them.

This band.

“No Name”… is their name. At first the band members were enshrouded in mystery, they didn’t release their names to the public until their fourth album “Reluctant Heroes” and their popularity forced them to step into the spotlight that was on them. Even with that revealed, the paparazzi had a damnable time trying to catch them without their signature bandaged faces. The band members all covered their eyes by wrapping a layer of cotton bandage around them. Their name being “No Name” is because they cover their eyes. They’d mentioned that the meaning of their band name is as such: “eyes are the windows to the soul… that sort of shit…” the pamphlet had said in their first CD, by looking into a person’s eyes you could see their heart and come to know what their “name” is. By covering their eyes they are denying revealing what their names really are.

It was very cool to him in middle school and is still cool to him years later as a high schooler though no doubt it is a little funny since it is well known what the names of the band members are. Mike on drums, Hanji on electric guitar, and the vocalist being Eren’s favourite- Levi.

It’d been the music of the drums and guitar that’d drawn him to their stage but it’d been Levi’s voice that’d made him stay. Unable to move from the spot, his hands clutching the wire of the fence. Even though he’d been on the outside of the fence it felt he was the one who was trapped. His hands had smelled of sweat and metal after the exhilaration of that night, and even presently when he goes to their shows and he’s no longer behind a fence but as close to the stage as possible, still sometimes, that metallic scent returns to him.

Heavy like the blood that floods hotly through him, his rapidly pounding heart, his caught and short breath after singing with all his might with the crowd, with the band, should it be called upon them. He loves those moments. No Name has changed with time but is still the same despite going pro. At the beginning their music had been like a lone soldier, fighting a battle with no end. Captivating and unforgiving of the fallen, but as they had risen in fame and gained more fans, it seems like they- the fans are the band’s reestablished army, ready to fight alongside that soldier who is no longer alone. It’s a clear message when they are all able to sing along with the band. The emotion during that time turbulent through song, though Levi is not as expressive as the music he sings to; his body and what you can see of his face, unreadable- nameless.

Even during what little interviews the band allows (not much even after their rise in popularity which is not typically what happens, the opposite is usually what’s done right?) Levi is untalkative or short on speaking, leaving the talking to the guitarist Hanji who surely talks enough for all of them, the drummer Mike even more selective about words than Levi. Maybe it’s their desire to only express themselves through their music that makes them a difficult guest on a tv or radio show.

Their autograph signings are rare. They don’t meet typically with their fans after a show even though their gratitude is always visible on stage before they depart. Eren remembers he’d been fortunate to go to one of the few after show signings, though it felt a little like they’d been pressured into it by their company since they never used to do this before. He’d brought their self made album, thinking what’s “the first” would be very meaningful. He was a little concerned they might not be able to sign it since the album hadn’t been made with a label with the company they’re with, but he guesses it wasn’t an expected thing since no one tried to stop him. That is… not until after Mike and Hanji (who made a fuss, drawing attention to it) had already signed it. He was stuttering in horror that it was about to be confiscated right before getting Levi’s signature but Levi had taken the CD out of their staff’s hands, curtly, saying something like it was fucking rude to just manhandle someone else’s property, and how dare they interrupt their autograph session when they’d wanted them to do it to begin with? In other words, he’d sign whatever the fuck he wanted (so long as it wasn’t dirty).

Eren remembers he’d barely been able to speak when Levi had opened the listened to over and over album, worn since it’d been self made and not with the best of materials given they’d not much money at the time. Even at the autograph session No Name still wore their bandages, which must have been see-through to them (Eren already knew this) since how else would they perform or sign? For a moment despite defending him earlier Eren thought Levi was going to get angry at him for the state the album was in, but realised he was just looking for a spot he preferred to sign since Eren wasn’t telling him where to sign. It seemed incomprehensible to tell Levi to do something, even something so little as where to sign... so he’d said nothing even when there was much he’d always wanted to say to Levi.

Thinking on all he wished he could say to Levi...

Then he’d done something he knew for sure was not allowed, unlike his CD- he’d prepared a gift. Some cookies he’d baked and some black tea (in a special silver and gold tin, patterned in stars) his father had bought overseas. Not many people knew much about Levi or the rest of No Name despite how verbose Hanji is but Eren had noticed during the earlier gigs when the band took a break for drinks that Levi always drank tea, and had mentioned in a really old interview that black tea is his favourite beverage… so Eren had prepared this along with a letter of gratitude he hoped wasn’t too forward.

All the while he’d been staring at Levi who was taking such time (care, Eren's heart fluttered on his vain, silly thought) signing his album. Eren not entirely knowing how long the time that was passing really was taking, being nervous himself. Eren had only torn his eyes away from Levi after Levi had decided to sign as his fellow members had, on the CD itself. He’d been about to hold out Eren’s CD to return to him when Eren had brought out from the small book bag he’d carried- the rose print gift bag. Saying something like he hoped Levi would accept his feelings as he held it out to Levi, which on reflection probably wasn’t the sort of thing he should have said. They’d traded items then, Eren thanking Levi profusely. The staff probably would have confiscated the gift Eren had given had they not had bruises from trying to take the CD. Levi had opened the gift then and there (Eren more than a little embarrassed that everyone could see the heart shaped cookies, they only had the one cookie cutter in this house) and Levi had said to him-

“Not bad. Thanks.”

Eren ran all the way home after that.

Laughing and singing a few verses from his favourite songs as he dashed along the riverside path to his house.

The moment he’d gotten back he’d opened up his signed CD and looked at all the signatures carefully. Levi’s especially, learning that Levi didn’t have the best of handwriting.

That was a little rude to think wasn’t it?

Eren had laughed to himself about that, jumping when his mother had knocked on his door even this late, asking him if he wanted to eat his very cold dinner or not.

\--

Eren has been really lucky all this while.

Not only has he been to so many of their shows, had his room decked out in their memorabilia, posters and pamphlets, ads and magazine clippings, books and CDs, DVDs, after show merchandise, some of it being from raffles, his own making. But he even has this coat and headband, light sticks he often favours to adorn for shows that had been a rare set only available to a lucky caller on one of the few times No Name had been a guest on a radio programme (he recorded for sure). He’d been wearing the set to one of the shows in the city (his mother had been a little nervous about him staying the night alone, in a hotel- but she’d relented, she knows how much he loves No Name, and he’d promised to call her every hour he wasn’t sleeping or at the show) it’d been because he’d been wearing such attire he’d been able to catch such attention despite not being as close to the stage as he typically is (being in the city it was such a large crowd).

It’d also been a rare occurrence where only one deemed the “most loyal” fan would be called backstage to meet the band, unheard of. No one knew about it until after the show and he remembers some staff had come to get him and led him to the back, to their room… to where No Name was…

He remembers he’d almost stumbled over his feet before reaching the door, the staff looking surprised at him, did he not want to go meet the band?

He’d composed himself and then…

He’d only been able to meet Mike and Hanji.

Levi had been resting elsewhere, too tired from the show Mike was saying, a mumbled comment about his age getting to him or something along those lines that Eren wasn’t sure he should take as a joke or not. Hanji had laughed and told him it was probably that or that he was just being shy, they’d went to all this trouble to bring “that someone that’s his type” backstage for once and here he was dismissing their kindness.

Eren hadn’t really understood what they were talking about but they were very nice. They offered him tea which he almost freaked out about until he saw it was only green and not the black tea Levi so likes (Eren had wanted to ask Levi if he liked the tea… or maybe he’d had to throw it away and that’s why he wasn’t coming to meet him… he remembered him from last time and thought he was gross…) those sort of thoughts swirling in his head all the while. Eren had gotten hot and taken off his jacket, hoping it didn’t seem rude. Hanji did the talking as she typically did and Eren heard lots of interesting stories some of which he was sure he isn’t allowed to tell. She’d also made some comments he didn’t understand. Then asking him rapid, question after question all in one breath- his name, how old he was and what school he went to, his three sizes, what his hobbies are, his favourite food or was that too personal? Practically in tears with laughter at his answers, how it was just like a kid that Eren loves cheeseburgers, then talking to herself on how “that poor bastard is going to have a hard time” or how if he didn’t wanna end up in jail like his uncle it’d be best if he waited a few years. Eren didn’t want to intrude any more than he was already so he didn’t ask what Hanji meant by that or who she was speaking of.

It’d been a really fun time even though he hadn’t been able to meet with Levi again (and that intimately), Hanji had loaded him with gifts (band merch) and called for a taxi for him (and paid the fare). Asking what hotel he was staying at but Mike had stopped her saying that was going too far, and Eren could just tell the driver himself (which he did). 

He’d gone to sleep elated and a little less rested than he should have for the trip home, too excited on this info Hanji had given him for an upcoming lottery.

It’s not until he’d boarded the bus that he realised he’d left his coat in their room. They were probably long gone, and might have either not noticed it or it’d been thrown away by the staff that worked in that building… it was too late to call even at this hour, and it was too far a trip to come back even if they did somehow have it…

\--

The lottery had five different sets of prizes. The fifth prize going to 5,000 people would be a poster of their upcoming album’s cover, the fourth prize would be to 1,000 people being this poster and a set of other promotional items such as headphones and wrist bracelets- the typical fare, the third prize to 100 people was the upcoming album a week early to its official release, the second prize was to 50 people- all the previous prizes along with tickets to their next show and finally first prize was a surprise along with all the previous prizes, that only went to one person.

Eren cannot believe… he is that person.

The box he’d gotten in the mail hadn’t been entirely large in width but just so in length.

It is also just his luck, his father is busy out of town for a business trip and his mother is staying at a friend’s (Armin’s mother) house for their book club for the night. She’d already made dinner in case Eren was too tired from his part time job (though he’d eaten there) to fix something for himself. She is always considerate like that.

He is free to enjoy the contents of his package without interruption or worry he is being too loud or his music is too loud.

In his room.

He uses his sharpest knife to carefully (as he can) cut open the box.

Hands shaking as he takes out the prizes for the other places, wondering what place he is until he takes out, fifth, fourth, third, and second… and seeing there is still more in the box.

There is a large envelope that he reaches, and pulling it out- black paper with silver ink, it congratulates him for being No Name’s First Special Pre-Album Release Lottery’s first prize winner.

All the members of No Name have signed the certificate (along with the CD he cannot wait to listen to), and beneath it all, more wrapping- Eren finally is going to see what the one of a kind surprise first prize is…

It’s in a plastic shrink that Eren carefully cuts.

Free from the plastic the cotton material that was in the plastic expands and Eren realises… it’s a really long… large… pillow?

Looking at the side he is- the fabric is black and silver, in a pattern like bandages, wondering if the other side is the same, Eren stands (the pillow a little shorter than he) and flips the pillow over.

He might have been yelling.

He falls back onto his knees promptly after seeing the reverse… or is it the front?! Side.

It’s Levi.

On the other side of the pillow is a printed picture of Levi, lounging on his back with his arms behind his head, the front buttons of his shirt undone, as are the buttons of his trousers, his feet bare, the bandages about his eyes a little unraveled as if they might fall off with any given motion.

Eren’s heart beat is pounding in his ears and he can’t seem to put any strength in his legs.

Murmuring to himself.

“Why… why is this sort of thing first prize…”

Eren hefts the pillow up onto his bed after he realises how hard he’s started to clutch onto it. He grabs onto the edge of his bed while taking some deep breaths, for support, unable to look at the pillow any longer than he already has.

It’s not for some time he’s able to get back some strength in his legs. He hobbles over to the box, and shifts through the wrapping looking for some kind of explanation, or if this is some joke, maybe Hanji is teasing him… but then there was no way she’d known he’d get first prize- though during the backstage meeting she’d also teased him all the while. How disappointed he must be to only meet them since Levi is his favourite right?

There’s something else in the box.

It’s wrapped in paper and a blue ribbon unlike the other items, like it’s a gift. 

Everything else had been in silver and black, but the wrapping to this is gold.

Eren tears the wrapping paper open.

He almost dies.

It’s a blazer.

Not his coat that he’d forgotten.

It’s a black blazer, looking exactly the same as… the one… Levi wears…

Eren presses it to his face and inhales, it doesn’t smell like a factory, or a store, but rather, and perhaps it’s from his memory like that metallic scent of the fence, it smells like him, Levi- a clean smell. His scent had been lightly of sweat and soap. Eren remembers from the autograph session, from sometimes when he got close enough to the stage…

Eren inspects the blazer further.

It looks exactly like Levi’s, he would not mistake it.

Eren presses the blazer against his face again. His face feels hot, his body feels hot, this can’t be real right? He’s dreaming isn’t he? Mikasa is going to barge into his room now, allowed in by his mother, to wake him up and ask him why he hasn’t gotten ready for school yet.

Eren goes to lock his bedroom door.

It’s evening and a weekend, but he trusts nothing.

Dreams are not reliable.

He gets a hanger for the blazer and places it over where he has his school uniform hung.

Eren doesn’t think he’ll ever be happier than this, he turns his eyes from the blazer finally and looking over to his bed remembers what else he’d received and why he’d found the blazer to begin with. He’d been looking for an explanation to this.

Eren sits upon his bed, he flips the pillow over back to the side that’d caused his knees to go weak. He’s never seen a photograph of Levi like this before. Had they taken it especially to create this pillow? Would it be in a photobook they are going to release? A screenshot from a new MV? Or had this picture been used somewhere already and he just didn’t know about it?

A sudden bout of indignation fills him, impossible! It’s impossible that he wouldn’t know! This image of Levi, it can’t exist anywhere else! He’d won first prize hadn’t he? Then this image of Levi is his and his alone! That is the sort of thought running through his head as he throws himself over the pillow, a childish pout on his lips, fading as he feels silly about all of this. What is he thinking? That Levi is all his?

A muffled cry starts in the back of his throat.

Eren rolls over onto his back, clutching the pillow to him, he relents his release a little to look at it. Shyly he brings the pillow close to himself to give it a brief kiss, a peck. Where Levi’s cheek is. Eren is satisfied for a few moments- thinking.

Levi as being his…

He’s so stupid!

Eren rolls back over and gets out of bed, leaving the pillow there. He goes into the bathroom adjoined to his room and seeing the state of his face (bright red) decides to take a shower. He takes a shower colder than the ones he usually takes (he likes scorching hot water), hoping that’ll help the funny feeling he has in his gut like it’s had before when he thinks about Levi too much.

A short shower, he towels himself down when done, a towel thrown over his damp hair, he’s dry enough that he won’t’ drip water onto any of his prizes. He goes through the booklet of the new album, also special edition and decides to listen to it. He pops the CD into his stereo system, and despite being home alone doesn’t turn it up as loud as he could with no one here.

His hair near dry, he moves to his closet for some clothes to put on-

The first track is a long instrumental introduction he finds him swaying his hips to, that swaying stops when the second track begins and he hears Levi’s voice, loud and abrupt- 

Eren is on his knees again, unable to stand, trembling from head to foot as he leans against his dresser, as he listens to this song. Levi’s voice seems deeper than it usually is and it’s making his stomach flip flop, his face so hot it must be that unpleasant red again. Eren is gritting his teeth in frustration, he’d been trying for it to not be like this, but as the song continues, he can’t help himself, as the next track begins and Levi’s voice continues to fill him- Eren struggles to his feet and pulls Levi’s blazer down from its hanger, draping it over himself though he’s not all that cold from the shower.

Eren hobbles over to his bed and collapses over the pillow, on the verge of tears. It’d been just as he heard Levi’s voice that his cock had grown hard, smacking up against his belly, insistent. This happens occasionally, there are some songs Eren can’t listen to unless he is alone, in his bed at night. A hand over his mouth to stifle his crying and moaning as he touches himself, looking at Levi on the No Name poster above his bed, imagining it’s Levi touching him, holding his cock as he does the microphone, so close to his mouth. Levi’s voice in his ears, a low volume in his headphones so he makes sure how noisy he’s being, hoping no one can hear. 

It didn’t used to be like that but as he grew older Levi became even more handsome to him than Eren had thought of him as a kid anyway. Or that’s just how it seems and sometimes he just couldn’t help how his body reacts to Levi’s voice. He’s always careful at shows, but alone in his room… like now…

Eren mounts himself over the pillow, staring down on Levi’s image. How many times has he imagined himself, wrapping his legs around Levi’s hips and being held by him? Kissed by him? Eren wraps his arms around the pillow and kisses where Levi’s face is, over and over, moaning as he ruts his hips against the soft cushion, knowing if he grinds himself against Levi like this in reality Levi’s body would feel anything but soft. Thinking about that makes Eren moan louder. He buries his face against the pillow, inhaling and catching the scent on the blazer that’s too much all like Levi’s.

He wishes the pillow was a little wider as he spreads his legs and straddles the pillow too tightly, his toes spread out, clutching onto the mattress as he rubs his cock against the pillow over and over to the sound of Levi’s singing. Eren rolls over onto his back, the pillow with him like before. He tightens his legs over the pillow and crushing it to him imagines Levi entering him and that it is his tense, sweating back that Eren rakes his nails into. It’s not much good since Eren isn’t penetrating himself with anything. He rolls back with the pillow, on his knees again. Kissing Levi’s neck as he rubs his nipples against the soft fabric, whimpering as he decides to use his fingers. He wets his fingers with the lotion he typically uses for this and pushing them inside himself, tries to reach for his prostrate to bring release quick. Though he’s shoving his fingers inside himself he can’t reach that far, or won’t reach that far when all he wants is Levi inside him, he wants Levi’s cock inside him like his voice is inside him, filling him and owning him. Eren wants Levi to annihilate him.

Fucking himself on his clumsier than usual fingers, panting against Levi’s image on this soft pillow, the fabric against the length of his body, his hot, moist skin. Eren feels bad to be doing something so dirty in Levi’s blazer more so than to be fucking himself against Levi’s image. It’d be bad to dirty the blazer. Levi is always so neat and pristine.

Frustrated more that his fingers inside him isn’t doing anything. Eren looks around his room from his bed trying to find something to fill himself. Still humping the pillow as he does so, spit dripping from the corner of his mouth as he breathes heavily, trying to stifle his cries with his pillow and not his filthy hands, so he can hear Levi better through the speakers. As another song begins, as his thrusts become rougher he feels something slide against his ankle.

Something has fallen out of Levi’s blazer pocket.

Eren ruts himself a few more times against the pillow before drawing his body up, arching his back, to reach for what had fallen on the mattress.

They’re bandages.

Eren stops humping the pillow to inspect them, breathless, and body flushed between his arousal, the pillow and wearing Levi’s blazer. Sitting up to the cool night air of his room feels good. He looks over the bandages. He puts them over his eyes and is startled to find that he can’t see from behind them. They look thicker than the bandages that No Name usually wears and for a moment Eren is worried about why Levi would have this sort of bandage, tougher and more durable than their costume ones. Eren takes them from his eyes and is about to set them down and resume what he was doing when he gets an idea. If he can’t find anything to put inside him to bring him to orgasm then-

Eren wraps his legs around the pillow tightly, looking at Levi all the while as he does so, shaking, he takes his cock in hand and pumping it in his fist, moaning, groaning, he pumps himself until he’s in rhythm with the song that’s playing. He’s not sure if it’s just this album or because of what he’s doing but Levi’s voice has become more sensual than before. Probably when this is over he won’t be able to listen to any of this album outside his room, which is upsetting since he wants to go to their shows… he wants to see Levi. Hear Levi live.

Eren has spread his legs wider on the thought of Levi, and rubbing his ass against the pillow he strokes himself a few more times before bringing those bandages to both his hands, he ties the bandages about his cock, squeezing the fabric around it tight, taking the ends of the bandage and using them to rub at the dripping tip. The fabric is coarse in comparison to the pillow and hurts a little with how sensitive the flesh of his wanting to be fucked body is. But he needs it to be rough. He pumps his cock with the bandages around it, rocking his hips against the pillow, looking at Levi’s mouth, his throat, his chest. Eren’s legs are wrapped around his hips. Levi’s blazer feels heavy over his shoulders. Eren imagines Levi’s hands there, then at his waist, his hips, moving in tune with him, in tune with the current song that comes on. Eren’s heart a steady beat with it all until he comprehends not only Levi’s voice but the words he’s singing- it sounds like a ballad, unusual with rock as their forte. It’s haunting and beautiful, the lyrics a darker sort than before- Levi is singing of a hunter being enticed by a beast in the forest with golden eyes, the hunter is sure that his life will end by such a beast but then the song takes a turn and the hunter becomes a beast so he may consume the beast before the beast consumes him and his life does not end but begins- Levi’s voice is wonderful. Levi’s voice entices him, consumes him. Frees him. Eren wants Levi to enter him, he wants like the hunter does to the beast in this song, to be eaten by Levi.

Eren is startled, as his toes curl into the mattress again, tears falling hot over his hotter skin as he gasps and whimpers, crying out Levi’s name loudly, over and over as he cums into the bandages and his hands thickly. His cum seeping onto his pillow, sticking over his belly, some even splattered to the underside of his chin, dripping, it clings to his nipples. 

Eren falls over onto his pillow, kissing at Levi’s face all over, his arms around it as he’d like to have them around Levi’s shoulders. Still rocking his hips against the pillow as he clings to it, liking both the friction of the differing fabrics on his raw skin. He falls to sleep on the last track, only hearing the opening- the crashing of the waves of the sea…

\--

Hanji will not leave him the fuck alone.

She’d been crowing about it all morning to Mike, about how “cute” it is that he is so fucking stupid.

Even though it’s true.

He’s being an idiot.

Levi had tampered with the lottery.

The third, second and first prize winners had to be chosen by their hand and Levi had went through all the applicants, to find the one that matched what Hanji had told him. That person’s name, his age, what his address had to be since he went to such and such school.

No one said he couldn’t do whatever the fuck he wanted since who was going to rat on him? It’s his band’s lottery, so what if he very specifically chooses who wins? He’s supposed to choose ain’t he?

Hanji had laughed all the while he’d been sorting through thousands of scraps of papers, asking him what he was going to do if Eren didn’t enter the lottery? How was he going to get his number and address then?

Then Mike who’d been helping but quiet all this while had fallen back on a joke Hanji had made before, on how Levi should avoid going to jail like his uncle. Levi had told them this search wouldn’t be taking so long if they’d shut the fuck up.

They’d found Eren though, and it all matched up. Levi had insisted to the staff this was the first prize winner and he insisted that he would mail the first prize himself… originally the first prize had been those replica bandages but Hanji had told Levi that that just wasn’t going to be enough.

Levi had agreed, what kind of shitty prize was that?

But then Levi had thought about it further, what Hanji meant. Annoyed. It’d been Hanji that’d decided suddenly to invite Eren backstage at their last show, and it was Hanji who had served hot tea, and it was Hanji who had instead of reminding Eren to take his coat with him, had done no such thing…

Levi has always seen Eren near the stage, diligent, he’d been to so many of their shows. The autograph session had been the first time Levi had seen him in proper lighting and that close. Eren had been wearing that coat then too, his dark hair a little mussed from it just being right after the show. His face had been more than a little flushed, and his eyes- they’d been a little red. Levi knows it's because Eren had been crying during one of the songs. He’d still sung but he’d been crying through it- Levi had thought his eyes green then. That was just how the lighting had been. But at the signing he could see that this boy’s eyes are gold. Vibrant and on him. Levi had taken so much time inspecting the CD because while he, like Hanji was surprised someone still had their first self made album, and had brought it of all things to such an exclusive signing… he knew how hard it was to have kept the CD in such a good condition as it looked to be, only worn from use. No doubt listened to a hundred times over. 

Eren’s eyes had been on him the whole time as he looked not only over the CD but was trying to look over Eren without him knowing. It wasn’t too hard with the bandages over his eyes, he just had to be careful about how he was holding his head.

Such beautiful eyes.

Levi had not known of his name then but looking into Eren’s eyes he felt as if he already knew (or some shit like that). He’d looked from those eyes over Eren’s face, his nose and mouth, his throat and chest, the table blocking him off at Eren’s hips. Levi had thought of how small his waist was, how young he must be, gaze moving up to Eren’s throat and mouth again when he’d swallowed nervously from how long it was taking Levi to sign, back to his gold eyes that Levi would look for at every concert then after.

Eren wouldn’t be able to tell if he was looking for him, at him, only him.

It didn’t start out like that. Levi had only been curious at first. By how frequently Eren came to see them, how often he cried, what songs did he cry at, which ones did he know by heart, which songs made his gaze captivated on Levi the most?

Hanji calls him out on his bullshit when she notices depending on the show- Levi might sing something from a previous album (that they shouldn’t be playing, but he knows Eren likes it) or opt to have a song sung with the audience that they all didn’t decide on (wanting to hear Eren, or think he can), etc. The reason for that is sometimes Eren is not at the show as Levi had expected (wanted). Or he is. Levi just doesn’t know. When Hanji gets an idea and figures it out, she laughs at him, then helps him as she typically does. Figuring out what shows Eren is most likely to come to based on what shows he’d been to before. They narrow it down and it’s consistent… all for that one night. When Hanji had invited Eren backstage.

Levi hadn’t been ready for that.

He’d made that excuse of going to bed, there was a bedroom in that room in case someone wanted to sleep in peace, but he’d not slept. Instead he’d stood by the door, cracking it a bit as he listened to Hanji jabber on, teasing Eren with little mercy. Levi looking through the crack of the door then to see how Eren replied. How many abashed looks had Eren looked down with on replying to Hanji? His heart skipping a beat when Hanji had said she knew Levi is Eren’s favourite and Eren had told her yes.

He is an idiot.

But he didn’t think Eren would be at this show, given the distance, the hour, previous experience.

He’d been looking forward to seeing him but when he got to see him unexpectedly…

Eren had given him a gift. One only someone who’d been with them near the beginning? From the beginning? Would know. From the self made CD he had of theirs, and him knowing about Levi’s taste in tea (which Levi had only mentioned once on an old radio show he was sure no one had been listening to) then Eren must have been following them for some time, supporting them, looking at Levi all this while with those pretty eyes.

Levi had shared the cookies with Hanji and Mike who’d been impressed. A fan had baked Levi a present? Unapproachable Levi? Mike had sniffed the cookies as if to detect poison, and Hanji had gotten crumbs everywhere. Saying how nice it must be to get cute cookies from a cute boy-

Levi had stopped her then, the cookies as hearts had nothing to do with being cute. The first song they’d put on the radio had been “Offer Up Your Heart”, that song Erwin had written for them before going to law school (of all things) overseas.

Hanji had asked Levi why he’d understood all that but overlooked something else?

This is what he’d overlooked.

He hadn’t denied Eren is cute.

Levi had come out of the bedroom after Mike and Hanji had seen Eren off. Hanji apologising to him that Mike is a big brother type, it’s because of him she hadn’t been able to get the address of the hotel Eren is staying at. Levi had told her to fuck off. He hadn’t asked any of this from her.

It was then he’d looked on the couch and noticed Eren had left his coat.

Hanji had turned to Mike, sighing, her arms unfolded and palms out to the air in bemused exasperation. If Mike hadn’t stopped her she’d know where to send Levi to bring Eren his coat.

So she said was her intention.

Levi thinks it’s plausible.

And a load of shit.

If he had brought Eren back his coat no doubt Eren would have been surprised, happy. Probably his face would be flushed red as it had been on giving him that gift at the autograph session, his eyes would be lit up and looking at him. No doubt Levi wouldn’t have been able to control himself. Probably he would have used the coat as an excuse to come in, like Eren can’t carry the coat himself and hang it in the closet. He would have done that or asked for a cup of tea since didn’t Hanji give him one? He would have found a way to get into Eren’s room and then in Eren’s room he would have found a way to get inside Eren. Who would probably be willing as an avid fan of theirs, Levi could use that. And kiss Eren’s soft looking mouth and wrap his hands around Eren’s waist, he could have that flush hot against his skin. He could run his hands through Eren’s hair- would he still be sweaty from the show or perhaps he’d have just taken a bath? He could have Eren and Eren’s eyes would be on him just like during the shows, no one before Levi would ever have coveted such beautiful gold-

Levi knows this.

He’d kept Eren’s coat, and that night in his room he’d imagined exactly that. Fucking Eren with Eren’s eyes on him. Wondering if Eren cries during sex like he cries during their shows and how adorable that’d be.

With the lottery it’s a perfect chance for him to send back Eren’s coat.

He has his address.

Going to Eren’s house personally makes him seem like a stalker (“You think?” both Mike and Hanji had said) so he decided to send the coat along with the prizes.

That had been his intention but… he didn’t want to give up Eren’s coat.

He hadn’t seen Eren since that show, what if Eren never came to another of their shows again?

If that happened, Mike had said it’d be because he was being a creeper and had refused to meet Eren when he’d had the chance. Eren who’d been invited to meet _all of them_. Levi sometimes forgets that Mike is originally Erwin’s friend and the both of them sometimes piss him off with logic.

So Levi had sent off his own coat, his blazer.

Eren would be happy with such a thing wouldn’t he?

That’d been his intention, end of story.

But then Hanji had mentioned to him that she’d promised Eren that there’d be a special one of a kind item to the first place winner. By the way why did Eren have to be first prize winner, if all Levi wanted was his address to send him his coat back?

Levi had told her to shut up.

Hanji did not.

Then she showed him what she’d done while he was sleeping one night… and that she might have tampered with the package he’d sent to Eren.

What it was…

Levi tells her he’s breaking up the band.

\--

Eren hasn’t been to a show in a while.

He can’t, not after what he did, and relistening to No Name’s recent album “In the Forest of the Night, Burning Bright” he can’t seem to find enough control in himself to stop himself from becoming a total mess while listening to it. He can’t face Levi like this.

He’s lucked out tonight again.

This show is being performed at the place where he’d first seen No Name all those years ago. He watches them far off through the chain linked fence as he did the first night. Far away from everyone but close enough that he can still hear the music, he can still see Levi.

He’s a little surprised they’d suddenly chosen this small a location again.

He’s lucky no one else is here beyond the fence with him, but you have to be pretty familiar with the area to reach here, and this is a smaller town than the cities No Name has recently been playing at given their fame.

He’s lucky because he could if he liked- from this distance- take care of his reoccurring problem every time he hears Levi sing. But he will wait it out. Until he’s safe in his room and he can listen to Levi through his headphones, though nothing will be as good as live.

Eren had been pressing himself against the chain linked fence, his hands smell metallic.

He’s remembering the first time he’d seen No Name here.

They’re no longer on stage, the show over, their equipment is already being packed away by staff. Most everyone except a few people lying in the grass, have gone home.

Eren wants to wait a little longer, for less people. Just in case he can’t wait as he’d originally intended. It’s not helping Eren keeps thinking about Levi tonight. He’d seem more aggressive than usual, and typically his body gave little indication of what he’s feeling but there’d been telltale signs of anger? Sadness? Loneliness? That was often in their music. But not always in Levi. Eren would notice. Maybe it was just him. Maybe he just thought that’s what he’d seen.

The stars are out as he turns finally from the chain link fence. Shivering a little even under Levi’s blazer. He’d worn it tonight for the show; he’d even bought a ticket for it. But he just couldn’t bring himself to go in. He’d want to get as close to the stage as possible, as close to Levi as possible…

He’s starting to walk down the path when he sees another person walking along it as well, towards him.

Eren stops walking, still in shock.

“No way….”

The figure that’s walking towards him, more familiar than anyone else.

Black slacks, a button up collared shirt, and black tie. Bandages about his eyes. He’s all as Eren knows him to be… except without his blazer.

Eren had figured Levi had not worn it for tonight’s show because the lights had been too bright, too hot, that it was probably in the back somewhere, and for this near autumn chill Levi would wear it again should he venture from those lights.

But here with this wind that picks up, the only filler to silence and Eren’s thumping heart- Levi is without it.

It makes Eren almost think… that the blazer he’s wearing is the real deal…

“You.”

Levi addresses him, walking right over to him.

Eren feels himself start to tremble. Because that’s Levi there? Because of the wind? Because he might be in trouble? Did Levi think he was sneaking seeing his live show without pay? He has a ticket.

Eren is looking about his pockets frantically for it.

Unable to find it, grasp it.

Levi is right before him and grabs at his wrist.

“What the hell are you doing? We’ve been waiting for you all this time. Let’s go.”

Eren doesn’t budge.

He digs his heels into the ground, suddenly confused at why Levi would be touching him at all.

“…Levi. No, uhm, Mr Levi- what are you talking about, what do you mean?”

Levi is frowning, no doubt a glare is directed at Eren beneath those bandages. Eren wonders what it looks like, whatever words he has catch in his throat.

“You have my blazer don’t ya? You’re the first prize winner to the lottery, you were supposed to meet with us a long fucking while ago.”

Eren is gaping as Levi drags him along, unbelieving the blazer is the real deal. Levi only letting go of Eren’s wrist when Eren follows him, closely. Almost walking into him when he stops seemingly almost sudden, since Eren had been staring at his back the entire while still in disbelief.

Levi turns to him, having opened the back door of his car for him.

“Get in.”

\--

They’ve been driving for a while.

Eren had thought Levi was going to take him to No Name’s hotel or some aftershow party but when he finally overcomes enough of his embarrassment to look out a window- where they’re going... it looks like they’re going into the woods… damn it’s dark, they are definitely going into the woods.

It’s up at a woodland park, atop some mountain that overlooks the town. Star gazing is really nice to do here, he’s done it before with Mikasa and Armin (who suggested it in the first place) a couple times, when they’d been kids.

It’s pretty up here, but…

Levi has parked the car, the engine turned off.

Eren looks over to Levi, in the driver’s seat where he’d said not a word this entire while.

Levi turns his keys, not to start the engine but to turn the radio on, and keep the heat on.

“Levi… Mr Levi… what are you… why are we…”

Levi turns back to look at him, or so Eren thinks, the bandages are about his eyes still. So you can see through them. Eren frowns thinking about the ones he’d received as a prize.

“Is the heater on high enough for you Eren? Or are you still cold?”

Eren looks up sharply.

“Ah… no, I’m fine… but…”

Levi has avoided answering his question.

Levi is flipping through the channels on the radio, sighing, annoyed he can’t seem to find anything he likes or getting static from being so up high, maybe it’s these big ass trees that are in the way he mentions. He pops in a cassette tape.

There’s a CD player and hook up for portable music devices on this car’s stereo system too. The tape is whirling in the player for some time. Rewinding as Levi gets out from his place of the driver’s seat of the car. Eren watches him shut the door and walk around behind the car. Thinking he needs something from the trunk. Eren almost jumps as Levi opens the door to the seat aside his and slides in to sit next to him. Shutting the door.

The tape is still rewinding.

Levi doesn’t say anything.

Eren looks over to him in confusion.

“Uhm, Mr Levi, why are we here? Weren’t we going to go meet the others?”

Levi places his arm over the back of the seat, along where Eren is sitting. 

“That had been my intention, but we can’t really go out to meet them when you’re in the condition you’re in, can we?”

Eren doesn’t know what he’s talking about, until Levi’s head moves forward a little, turning, his line of unknown vision being…

Eren crosses his legs promptly, or tries to. Folding his hands in his lap as if he can hide what’s already been seen. Apologies tumbling out of his mouth, he’s not sure what he should do, when Levi draws closer to him.

“Did you watch my show?”

Levi is close to him, close enough that should Eren lean his face forward (though he’s trying to draw it back, difficult with no space to do so in the car) their noses would touch.

Eren nods.

“Did you watch all of it?”

Eren nods again.

Levi’s hand is on his thigh, squeezing it.

“Is it because of my show you’re like this?”

Eren opens his mouth to answer but his voice won’t come out. Levi smells exactly as his blazer does. The blazer Eren is wearing.

Levi’s breath is against his mouth.

“That’s not good Eren. You should speak to me when I’m speaking to you. I need to hear your voice. I haven’t heard it in so long. You always sing louder than the others, and sometimes it cracks when you cry.”

Levi’s hand has moved under his shirt, touching his stomach and moving up to grope at his chest. Eren flinches underneath his rough touch.

“I didn’t get to hear you at all tonight, but you were crying weren’t you? Your eyes are a little red. Eren.”

Eren feels Levi’s hand move down into his trousers, touching at his erection, he’s been hard all night. Ever since he got to see Levi walk on stage and take that microphone in hand.

Eren’s moaning, as Levi presses his body against his as he touches him. Levi’s hand is as rough on his cock as it’d been on the rest of him.

The tape has stopped rewinding but it’s yet to play.

There’s a click, as if it’s shifting and it might. It’s turning in the direction for audio to be heard, but there’s no recorded sound playing yet. A few moments of silence in the not quiet car.

Eren is moving his hips, moving to meet Levi’s groping hand. He’s brought his arms over Levi’s shoulders and is clutching the back of Levi’s shirt as he starts to moan louder, panting. Levi is panting too. Eren looks at him, is looking at him, needy and trembling.

The recording on the tape starts to play. Eren’s gaze flickers violently over to it. What starts to play is a song Eren knows well by No Name, the first song to have made it to radio.

When Eren shifts his gaze back to Levi, Levi has bent over to kiss at his neck, sucking at it- then his ear. Levi's breath is far from controlled as Eren is used to, when Levi is on stage. He’s a little startled by it. But then Levi cups his face, kissing his cheek, his chin. Eren grows impatient and moves so Levi is pressing his mouth to his. Levi was being gentle about his kisses at least, but with Eren pushing his mouth to his so forcefully-

Saliva is dripping between their mouths, Eren tastes a little blood. Levi is still beating him off but he has yet to cum, Eren knows why. After waiting, and wanting, his body knows. Eren places a hand over Levi’s hand, trying to stop him, when Levi won’t stop touching him Eren moves to unclasp the button at Levi’s slacks, pulling down the zipper, he feels at the bulge in the boxers beneath there, hot and hard.

Levi’s intake of breath is sharp and pained then. 

The song has ended and there’s some talk in the background. 

Levi is taking off Eren’s trousers, his underwear. Sliding his own clothes off. Undoing the buttons of Eren’s shirt as Eren unbuttons his shirt and they take it off. Eren worried about the blazer on the floor of the car, Levi telling him to not mind it for now. Eren can hear catches of the low conversation recorded on the tape. It’s that old interview, the one where he learnt about Levi’s preference for black tea. Why is this playing? Had Levi put this tape in because he knows… because he knew...

Levi is kissing him again, down his body, licking at his stomach and cock, his thighs, as he parts Eren’s legs and pulls him close. Levi is stroking himself as he looks down on Eren, or so he might be from the inclination of his head.

Levi begins to enter him and Eren startled, as the tape clicks, ending, rewinding again. He’s clutching at Levi, wrapping his legs over his hips, across his back. Finding his voice finally-

“How do you know my name?”

It leaves him again as Levi fills him, grunting at how tight he is, how hot it is inside him.

He thrusts into Eren a few times before replying, having lost his voice as well. It’s deep like Eren had thought it to be on the new album.

“Ain’t that obvious Eren?”

Levi is leaning over him. Eren wraps his arms over his shoulders as he’s wanted to all this time as Levi fucks him.

He can feel, he can hear Levi’s heartbeat against his own as Levi presses their chests together, stomachs together, hard, his hands gentle as he cups Eren’s face. A thumb stroking his cheek.

“It’s because of your eyes. Your beautiful golden eyes.”

Eren reaches at the back of Levi’s head and starts to untie the bandages about Levi’s eyes.

Letting the bandages fall on their own as Levi pounds harder into him. His nails in Levi’s back, his hands will smell of metal not from just the fence.

The tape stops rewinding but does not play again.

Instead the radio turns on, a signal found.

Another song by No Name is playing, that ballad Eren had so enjoyed-

The leather of the seat is sticking to his back, there’s so much sweat. His erection is wedged between their stomachs, it feels good, even better than the pillow or the bandages, his hand, the fence- so long as it’s Levi it feels good. Levi is deeper inside him, trying to go even deeper, he’s grunting, groaning as Eren kisses at his cheek, at his chin. Levi turns his face so Eren kisses his mouth. Eren’s eyes on him this whole while and as the bandages fall from Levi’s face Eren gets to see that Levi has been looking at him all this while as well.

Levi’s eyes are cool and grey, like dulled silver, they pierce through his gaze, not silver then- but steel.

Levi sees the reflection of himself, what Eren is seeing, in Eren’s eyes.

This-

“-song, about the hunter in the forest becoming a beast, this song that’s playing now, Levi-”

“Oh? You understand? I made that song for you. That song is about you, Eren, the beast is you Eren-”

“No!”

Levi is almost startled at Eren’s loud cry, he’s inside Eren, to the rim. Eren is panting, crying, moaning, so sweetly to him, the most beautiful music, Levi almost cums, doesn’t- not until-

Eren draws Levi close to him, wanting him to enter him even deeper if possible, his arms around his torso. He feels Eren’s hands at his back again, feeling it, marveling over the muscle there- he tilts his hips forward, Eren’s lips brush over his-

“-the beast is _us_ , Levi.”

Levi cums inside Eren, Eren cumming soon after. Eren had waited all this while for Levi to fill him like this. Levi’s tongue is in his mouth as he kisses him breathless, uncaring their song has ended.

It’s only on the radio that it has.

\--

Eren is humming No Name’s newest hit single, “Counterattack” with perhaps a little more cheerfulness than the song implies as he waits for the elevator to take him up to the right floor.

Whistling the tune as he walks through the halls, before opening the door to their room.

He’s yelling some of the lyrics, at Hanji who’s sleeping by her mountain of beer cans and snack wrappers, along with a ton of papers, sketches for some “sick guitars” she wants to design. Mike is snoring on the couch looking like he hasn’t bathed in days.

After Eren sets down his bags he goes over and shakes Hanji awake, her mess they must deal with first.

She mumbles something about advancing titans and crystal caves. Eren wonders if these are new lyrics she’s coming up with, he’s really curious! No Name’s songs are all made by the members of the band… ah, except that one exception Levi had told him.

Hanji snaps awake on seeing Eren’s face.

She calls out his name joyously as she gives him a big hug. He knows why.

“You brought lunch didn’t you! What did you bring hm? What did you bring for us today? You’re such a good kid. I wonder what good deed Levi must have done in his past life to have you. Maybe he saved a princess? Defeated a dragon? Found a cure to- owowowow-“ Hanji is rubbing her cheek.

Eren had pinched her.

He passes her the hair tie that’d been on the floor. She does up her hair quickly, messily as always.

“Please wake up quickly Ms Hanji,” Eren has already gotten a broom, he would sweep her into the dustpan too if she didn’t hurry. Hanji apologises, careful to pick up her important notes as Eren is waiting for her to do before sweeping up the trash.

He’s coaxing Mike into the shower with the fragrant but not too fragrant (vanilla soap) he’d bought for sensitive noses and skin and has thrown it in there and propped a chair under the handle in case Mike gets the idea to leave the bathroom without taking a shower first.

So far everything is going well until Eren turns around to see Hanji has started opening the lunch he’d brought for everyone.

Before he can yell at her to please wait, the door to their room slams open again and Levi walks in, finding no problem in kicking Hanji from her seat, which he steals.

Eren looks on in shock.

“Wait, Levi- you’re not going to wash your hands before you eat?”

Levi looks over to him.

Eren is still leaning on the door until he hears the water start to run for the shower.

“Ah, that’s right Eren.”

Levi gets up to go wash his hands. Hanji calling him the devil, and teasing him about being so eager to eat Eren’s cooking he’d forgot to wash his hands. Him! Of all people! Eren sighs and goes to wash his hands as well. They put some food aside for when Mike finally emerges from the shower smelling much better. It was odd he would allow himself to go days without bathing; wouldn’t the smell bother him? But he can’t smell himself.

The food (white sauce and wine clam pasta, salad with pomegranate seeds and fluffy fragrant french bread, a berry pie that might have been too much) is fought over and eaten, the bottom of everything scraped at, no matter how much Eren brings.

He’s making tea in the kitchen when Levi approaches him with that topic of before.

How there’s only one song that’s theirs that the three of them, of No Name hadn’t created.

“How about it Eren? Or do you not want to?”

Eren looks over from the cups he is getting down from the shelf.

“I don’t know. It’s not a matter of if I want to or not but if I _can_. I’m not a musician.”

Levi is staring at him as Eren frowns, his eyes off Levi as he thinks to himself.

Levi is persistent.

“If you want to do it you can do it Eren. You _will do it_. I say so.”

Eren looks back to Levi, as Levi likes, replying-

“How are you so sure?”

Levi’s reply is almost too quick. His arms folded.

“You love music don’t you? And you love No Name, nobody else knows No Name as much as you do aside from us. You just need to do it.”

Eren still doesn’t look so sure.

“Is it by your intuition you say this sir?”

Levi’s expression sours at that sir.

“It is.”

Eren sighs, but he’s smiling. Almost gently, the molten gold of his eyes warm, welcoming Levi in. Sometimes Levi wants to cover up Eren’s eyes with the bandages they of No Name typically wear for their shows, so no one else could see these eyes but him-

“Then it’s decided. I will do it. I will write a song for you.”

The kettle is whistling. Eren turns the stove off.

Preparing the tea leaves in the strainer.

Eren glances back to Levi who is watching him prepare his favourite drink; the smile Eren glances back to Levi with is too mischievous.

“But Levi, this time, I’m going to be the hunter. It’s part of my name you know!”

Levi ruffles Eren’s hair a little too hard. Eren tells him if he hadn’t done that there’d be no need for the comb Levi pulls out from his pocket.

When the tea is ready, Eren carries it out on a tray to the now cleared table, the dishes from lunch, rinsed in the sink. Levi said they can do them later but glances back at them in the kitchen. Mike accepts the cup of tea Eren gives him carefully. Hanji is sitting next to Mike, playing with the dial of the small portable radio.

Nodding her thanks for the cup of tea Eren sets before her. Eren then setting a cup for Levi and himself as they sit down together. Hanji gives out a cry of delight as she hears a certain song of theirs playing on the channel she stops at, she turns the volume up. Levi looks a little stiff, even mortified. He hadn't been aware that this song would be-

Eren is choking a little on his tea.

Levi rubs at his back before turning back to Hanji who's grinning widely at him as she spoons sugar into her cup of tea- "How nice~ isn't this the love song you wrote for Eren?"

Levi takes the entire canister of sugar without so much as a blink and upends it into Hanji's cup.


End file.
